Fifth February 10, 2010

look at my trash folder now, you’ll see my four drafts in there. joke. but writing, writing is good. no wonder prisoners write letters to their parents that never will be sent.

sometimes, life crushes you. or you do, yourself. what am I feeling these days? It goes like this. I should have taken my Os last year. I’m not prepared, but I feel like just fastforwarding to the time we sit in the hall and nervously clench our pens, entry proof at the tip of the table. stupidity, perhaps. ambition, perhaps. but fantasy, nevertheless.

heh.
hardpressed but not crushed.
perplexed, but not in despair
persecuted, but not abandoned
struck down, but not destroyed.

I am a jar of clay.

but hey. music. music’s awesome.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above

hey. I could believe that.
And hey, I do. = )

Infinite. January 23, 2010

By Your Side – Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go

As long as we stand here waiting January 22, 2010

These Hard Times, Matchbox Twenty

Morning falls like rain,
Into the city life, there goes another night.
Lose my breath in waves,
Knowing that every crash, is bleeding the hour glass.

Taking the stride, from all our lives.

Everyone keeps talking,
They’ll promise you everything, they don’t mean anything.
We may lose our focus,
There’s just too many words, we’re never meant to learn.

And we don’t feel so alive.

Say goodbye, these days are gone,
And we can’t, keep holding on,
When all we need, is some relief,
Through these hard times.

Anticipation. January 8, 2010

I can’t wait for the red. Pastor Joakim, JunYuan School Feature! We’re going to be shown on video on Sunday. How cool is that? On stage. Sharing. We’ve always been open about who we are.

I can’t wait for the black. Yes, all of it. School. Hairchecks, involuntary haircuts. Lugging a chair to 4E5. Getting caught sleeping. Charging phones in class, hoping no teacher walks by.

I can’t wait for the blue. Pasir Ris Crest, Pasir Ris Sec, Pingyi, St Hilda, JunYuan. Mad about you. Publications and Productions. Imaginarium. Giving weird suggestions in a broken voice. Ushering, in full black.

I can’t wait for the purple. The outings. Haven’t really been having much. Today, breakfast with awesome people. Meeting alumnus. Town-ing, eating, attempting (and failing) to play pool.

I just can’t wait. And I’ve always tried to be open, at least through my writings. And this is me, y’know.

Coiled springs. Whats our glory again? You don’t have to remind me twice.

Catch/my/heart. January 8, 2010

I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight.
- U2

She’s a rainbow and she loves the peaceful life
Knows I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight
There’s a part of me in the chaos that’s quiet
And there’s a part of you that wants me to riot

Everybody needs to cry or needs to spit
Every sweet tooth needs just a little hit
Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot
How can you stand next to the truth and not see it
Oh, a change of heart comes slow

It’s not a hill, it’s a mountain
As you start out the climb
Do you believe me or are you doubting
We’re gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight

Every generation gets a chance to change the world
Pity the nation that won’t listen to your boys and girls
‘Cause the sweetest melody is the one we haven’t heard
Is it true that perfect love drives out all fear
The right to appear ridiculous is something I hold dear
Oh, but a change of heart comes slow

It’s not a hill, it’s a mountain
As you start out the climb
Listen for me, I’ll be shouting
We’re gonna make it all the way to the light
But you know I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight

Baby, baby, baby
I know I’m not alone
Baby, baby, baby
I know I’m not alone

Oh oh oh

It’s not a hill, it’s a mountain
As you start out the climb
Listen for me, I’ll be shouting
Shouting to the darkness
Squeeze out sparks of light

You know we’re gonna go crazy
You know we’ll go crazy
You know we’ll go crazy if we don’t go crazy tonight

Oh, slowly now
Oh, be slow

Transition. January 3, 2010

Transition eh. That means so much.
Into 5N. Into NewGens. Into someone who actually wants to play a musical instrument.

U2’s beautiful. For this post, its written by the me I want to be, the me I want to convey through my voice, my words. Not just written letters from a qwerty keyboard.

bass,huh. In that short span of time, I’ve changed. to thinking like how I think a musician thinks.
is’nt it a bit premature, a bit too early to say that?
oh hell no.

This is what I want.

To pick up a bass. Whaddya know, someone’s going through trouble to train us up. i’m not going to despise that.

I’ll get a 6 for Os, for a total of 6 subjects.

by the next year, I will be in a JC. because I don’t have the time to screw around anymore. because I can’t afford the year polytechnic will steal from me.

I’ll already have to give two to our nation.

is now, too early to decide?
oh no. because this goes beyond emotion.
and we all need something to work on. and this is mine.

A video, made for an apology to a woman, his wife.

Romantic? I’ve got a God who gave me more than that.
And my best years will be for Him.

Room for One. December 24, 2009

What you feed grows.
What you starves die.

“Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil.
The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog, all of the
time.” When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and
replied “The one I feed the most

Which dog do you choose to feed?

Eyeopening December 20, 2009

Congratulations, you got past the gates, past the guards. Shook hands with the leader of the free world. What now? The Munich Massacre happened because of complacency.

Then what? Bring on the assassinations, of course.

Mas Selamat.

You bet they locked the windows tighter after that.

Outliers. Out-ly-ers or Out-Lears? December 14, 2009

Reading Outliers now! Hahas, ambiguity crashes planes. Shall try to be more less-misunderstanding creating now! More less-misunderstanding creating. Huh, look like I broke that pact already. =D

(Forgive me, it is 4.37am after all)

Magenta is not Purple. December 13, 2009

And that hole in your heart is not filled by songs. nor running, till you’re ready to roll over and die. nor eating. nor feeling pain. nor cutting yourself.

nor writing. nor songs, even those that make you tingle all over.

Take away the hype, the fun, the fellowship. When the music fades, all is stripped away. And you’re left with no distractions.

Because in the end, the basic cry of Christianity is to know God more. Because God values fellowship more than ministry.
Because because because. And you scream inside your head, for the voices to shut up.

But they won’t

You can’t escape it. But you can solve it.

Yes, I know it already.
Yes, you do. But knowing it and knowing it are two different things altogether.
So pull it together, and fulfill your purpose.

Or you can scream into a glass jar, your frustrations bottled up into their transparent prison.

For you, a thousand times over. Could I walk by your side, today? Beads of rain mixed with glass and mud that splash into the pavement.

For you, a thousand times over. Because in the end, our glory is our strength. Not our ability to quibble like old women in their rocking chairs. Aggression has no place here. Neither does passiveness.

Could I walk by your side, today?